You brainless moron. You simple-minded cretin. You’re a half-wit. A dimwit. An imbecile. You’re as sharp as a marble. Thick as a ditch. Not the sharpest knife, nor the brightest crayon, and not the brightest bulb. You just fell off the turnip truck. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Skulduggery Pleasant to Valkyrie in Mortal Coil, by Derek Landy