1. Harry Potter books VS Twil*ght BS
« At least Harry didn’t name his son Jamethur Lilolly »
« I prefer my Bella, evil, pure-blood, dark and crazy. »
« Sanguini would like to know what’s up with all the sparkle crap. »
« Twil*ght made me do it – Voldemort »
« My Black is Sirius » – Daniela (I particularly agree on this one)
« Our gay wizard can beat up your sparkly vampire »
« Who needs super strength when you have Avada Kedavra? »
« Fenrir Greyback would laugh at the Twil*ght Werewolves (and then eat them) » (btw, they’re not even werewolves ;o)
« Jo > SMeyer.
When copies of her new book were leaked online, Jo continues writing and asks her fans not to read the leaked copies.
SMeyer stops writing the books and puts it on hold indefinitely, despite fans promising not to read the leaked copies and begging her to continue. »
‘LMAO!’ – Jo
« Twil*ght vs Monster Book of Monsters = Twil*ght ripped to shreads by my pet Monster Book of Monsters »
2. Buffy VS Twil*ght BS
‘This is worse than my poetry.’ – Spike
‘Sparkle?…Really?’ – Angel
‘Bitch, please.’ – Buffy.
3. Literature VS Twilight BS
‘Twil*ght’s a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.’ – William Shakespeare
‘Cullens, thine (collective) face is not worth sunburning.’ William Shakespeare
‘Twil*ght, methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.’ – William Shakespeare
‘Our dear Ms Meyer, stop it PLEASE! Sincerly, Charlotte, Emily and Anne.’ – The Bronte sisters
« Imprinting? An interesting excuse…I mean explanation. » Humbert Humbert
‘While reading Twil*ght, I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.’ E.A. Poe
‘Twil*ght poured poison into my father’s ear.’ Hamlet
‘I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect – Twil*ght’ – E.A. Poe
‘Twil*ght was falling, and I deemed its influence pitiful.’ – Charlotte Brontë in Villette (I found this one, it’s the actual quote from the book, not a word is changed)
4. Twil*ght BS VS REST OF THE SANE WORLD
« If Edward and Bella are like Romeo and Juliet why haven’t they killed themselves yet? »
« Twil*ght wrote season 3 of Heroes »
‘…*dies*’ – FEMINISM
‘Bull**t the Twil*ght series is, and stupid you are’ – YODA
« Stephanie Meyer, promoting unhealthy relationships since 2005 »
« Bella, the Suest Sue ever to Sue. »
« Edward Cullen chagrins my dazzle »
« I cried when I read Twil*ght, because I felt a part of my brain die. »
« Stephanie Meyer, too much of a prude to describe sex, but not enough to stop her describing an horrific demonic birth whereby a girl’s bones are broken and her stomach torn apart by her loving husband. »
« If the Jonas Brothers starred in a Twil*ght movie, Facebook would literally explode of fail » (one of my favourite, HAHA)
Back to French
Vous avez des slogans ou autres anti-Twil*ght ? Aucun de ceux cités au-dessus ne sont de moi, ou trouvés par moi, à part la citation de Charlotte Brontë. Je les ai trouvés au Leaky Cauldron (je ne sais pas si on voit tout sans être inscrit mais j’espère pour vous que oui :D). Bon, voici mon cru.
Twil*ght made me do it. – Ahmadinejad
Le pilote du vol AF 477 venait d’apprendre que sa fille était fan de Twil*ght.
« Twil*ght n’est qu’une défaite de l’imagination » Graham Greene
Tu as l’avantage sur Twil*ght quand tu te tais. Proverbe presque égyptien (que je n’applique pas parce que je m’amuse beaucoup)
Twil*ght = Spam littéraire
« Si j’avais un jour une tumeur, je l’appellerais Twil*ght. »
« La première règle du fight club, c’est qu’il est interdit de parler de Twil*ght. »
« La deuxième règle du fight club, c’est qu’il est interdit de parler de Twil*ght. »
« Croyez en moi, et vous mourrez, pour l’éternité. » SMeyer
« Twil*ght, le livre à côté duquel Nosferatu ressemble à un documentaire. »
« We are the Knights who sayyyy… TWIL*GHT ! »
C’est presque encore plus drôle que les patateries !
Only by the Night 
Oh j’adoooore ce truc !! C’est méchant mais c’est drôle ^^ (it’s good to be bad)